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How to Completely Relax

Dissolve all your stress and worries with a simple trip to Miami

Story by Carly Milne

Boss driving you crazy? Traffic making you too road ragey? Bill collectors causing you to tear out your hair? Fret not! In twelve simple steps, you too can achieve a state of Zen known only to Buddhist monks!

Step One: Buy A Ticket to Miami - By bus, by plane, by donkey... however you need to get there, just make sure you get there. This first step is crucial.

Step Two: Check In At The Sagamore - Arguably the best hotel in South Beach, The Sagamore is a stylish and stunning artsy boutique hotel that has all the amenities of the more behemoth-like hideaways, Path to TranquilityPath to Tranquilityexcept with more charm, finesse and sterling customer service. Your best bet is a penthouse room, preferably overlooking  the ocean. A balcony with a view of white sand and turquoise waters is key to ensuring your mental calmness. The couch directly across from a giant wall-mounted flat panel television will distract your monkey mind, and a bed the size of a football field... well. That goes without saying.

Step Three: Order Room Service - Do not unpack, pass go or collect $200. Instead, go directly to the phone and order room service. Try the Braised Black Halibut with Malaysian Curry, Peas, Carrots and Roti Bread. It's heavenly, and not too heavy... making it a great pre-nap on the couch meal.

Step Four: Sleep In - Go ahead, you deserve it. Put the "Do Not Disturb" sign on the door and tuck into your giant bed with billion thread-count sheets, sinking your head into the pillow, allowing your eyes to close... mmmmm, doesn't that sound nice?

Step Five: Order Room Service - Yes, this is a repeated step, but it's completely necessary considering your stress level - you're not ready to go out and face humanity yet. Instead, grab yourself the Belgian Waffles or a Kaiser Egg Roll with eggs, melted cheese, black forest ham and country-style home fries. You'll need your strength for what comes next.

Step Six: Get An In-Room Massage - And not just any in-room massage - a four-handed in-room massage! The Sagamore's on-site spa, Rik Rak, has a multitude of fabulous treatments ranging from massages to facials to manicures, but it's the four-handed massage that will take you to nirvana and back. Slip some meditative music in your in-suite stereo system and allow yourself to drift away as two massage therapists work in choreographed bliss across your aching muscles. Words cannot describe how incredible you'll feel.

Step Seven: Hang Out Poolside - After such a rigorous morning, you'll want to take time out to relax by the pool. Don't worry if you've forgotten your reading material. Thanks to The Scoopomore, not only can you get the latest in celebrity gossip delivered right to your sun chair, you can also get popsicles to keep you cool. The less physical exertion on your behalf, the better.

Step Eight: Hang Out Oceanside - Though you don't want to make the mistake of ignoring big blue out there. Show your room key to the on-staff attendant, and he won't charge you a dime to set up a lounger and umbrella steps away from the crystal clear waters before you.

Step Nine: Go Shopping - By this point you're ready for a little civilization, but just a little. If your blood runs a little ritzy, you can always cab it to the upscale Bal Harbor shops, but we recommend you start a little slower and wander the joy that is Lincoln Road. With outside cafes, most of the brands you know and love and a few stand alone spots that have the kinds of things you won't find in any mall, it'll be hard not to find joy shopping in the sunshine.

Step Ten: Have Dinner at Social - Likely you've bought something to wear out to dinner - and if not, for shame! Either way, Social is the best place to wind down your crazy day. A small-plate restaurant, it's recommended that each plate is shared between you and a couple friends... which means ordering multiple things so you get an actual meal out of the deal. Score! Some recommendations? Braised Lamb Ribs, Grilled Skirt Steak on Skewers, Korean Style Chicken Wing Lollipops, Millionaires Deviled Eggs, and Tuna, Watermelon and Ginger Ceviche. They'll have to wheel you out of there.

Step Eleven: Take a Beachside Walk - Not only will walking on the beach after dinner help with digestion, but it will also calm and soothe your nerves considering the busy day you've had. Bonus: mostly nobody will be around, leaving you and the waves in peace.

Step Twelve: Sleep In Again - Seriously. It's absolutely necessary. By the next day you should be a gleaming, glowing new you. If not, repeat steps three through 12 until you've achieved the objective.

Carly is working hard to become the world's foremost authority on relaxation techniques.

Read more of Carly's articles on GoGirlfriend:

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Damn, I need a getaway like this! I love the idea of checking into a hotel just to do whatever the hell I want - food, massage, room service, food. Talk about treating yourself like a queen just for the fun of it. Seriously, sign me up!

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